- The hero was strong and handsome. He was admired by the townspeople. He was brave and wished to help those in need.
Rewrite: The man that everyone had been talking about for the past week is finally here. To perhaps save me for once, it seems he has saved just about everyone else in the small town, they all admire him. It’s not only that his brave and helps those in need; he is so handsome and strong. Just looking at him makes me want to be a better person. His muscular body really attracts everyone’s attention.
- The wizard was ugly and evil. The people of the town were terrified of him. He enjoyed threatening them, especially the children. He was cruel and greedy.
Rewrite: I walked in my room to find the ugliest and evilest thing the whole town was afraid of…. the wizard. The wizard had been talked about for so long because everyone knew how cruel and greedy he was. He enjoyed threatening everyone, especailly little children.
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